dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you pee in the oven last night??
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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