His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
