the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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