maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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