ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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