How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
