no. you can't hotbox the world.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
