i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
only if we run a train.
done.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
my liver is dry heaving
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
