i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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