Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He passed out mid-signature
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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