he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
