So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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