I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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