well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
