You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
