you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
