She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.