I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.