i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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