You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
