It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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