my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
