the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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