took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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