i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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