I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
