I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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