It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
