youre lurking in front of me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
