everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
