You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
