Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
