I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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