Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
