Too much gin, very little bucket
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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