my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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