not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
