Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
