I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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