i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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