the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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