I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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