my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
