Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.