I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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