Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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