Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
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Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
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MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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