I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
