I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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