If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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