nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
