You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
