Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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