I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize