note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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