You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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