I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
