this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
