the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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